A letter of wishes in Singapore is a personal letter to your family that sits beside your will. It is not legally binding and does not replace a will, but it can explain your decisions, tell your family where things are and carry your own words.
A will tells your family who gets what. It does not tell them why, or what you hoped for them, or where the spare key to the safe is.
That is the job of a letter. It costs nothing and needs no witnesses.
What A Letter Of Wishes Is
It goes by several names: a letter of wishes, a legacy letter, or simply a letter to the family. It is a personal document, written in your own words, that sits beside your legal documents.
It usually does three things:
- Explains the decisions in your will and other documents.
- Passes on practical information your family will need.
- Says what you want to say to the people you love.
There is no required format. A single handwritten page is a legacy letter.
What It Is Not
A letter is not a will, and this matters.
MoneySense sets out what a valid will requires: you must be over 21 and of sound mind, and sign in the presence of two witnesses, who must also sign in your presence. The witnesses cannot be beneficiaries or their spouses.
A personal letter is not made that way and does not do a will’s job. It does not pass on your flat or your savings. Without a will, intestacy law decides who gets your flat and savings. It does not direct your CPF savings either, which go by CPF nomination.
So a letter that says “the flat is for Mei Ling” does not make it so. If you want that outcome, it has to be in your will, and it has to fit how the flat is held. Our guide to CPF nominations and wills explains which document covers what.
The short version: A letter to your children is not legally binding and does not replace a will, a CPF nomination or a Lasting Power of Attorney. What it gives them is the reasons, the practical details and your own words, which no legal document carries.
Why Write One
It explains the “why”.
Legal documents are short on reasons. If you have left more to the child who cared for you, or less to the one you already helped with a home, a will states the split and nothing else.
A few plain sentences from you can spare your children from guessing.
It saves them searching.
A letter that says which banks you use, which policies you hold and where the will is kept spares your family a search at a difficult time.
It says what often goes unsaid.
Some parents find “I am proud of you” hard to say out loud. Writing it can be easier.
What To Include
Take what is useful and leave the rest.
The practical part
- Where your will, CPF nomination record, insurance policies and property documents are kept.
- Who your executor is, and who your donees are under your Lasting Power of Attorney.
- A list of accounts and policies, by institution. Leave out passwords and PINs.
- People to contact: your lawyer if you have one, close friends, anyone who should be told.
- Any debts, or money owed to you, including family loans.
The explaining part
- Why you divided things the way you did.
- Gifts already made during your lifetime, so there is no confusion later.
- Hopes for particular items of sentimental value. Remember that these are wishes only, unless your will says the same.
The personal part
- What you are grateful for.
- What you learnt about money, work and family that you would like them to know.
- Family history: where the family came from, stories they may not have heard.
- Your hopes for them, without conditions attached.
Your wishes for care and farewell
- The kind of care you would want if you were seriously ill.
- Religious or funeral preferences.
Care Wishes: Use The Official Route Too
If you have views about medical care, a letter is a good place to explain them. It should not be the only place.
Advance Care Planning (ACP) is the recognised way to record these wishes. The Agency for Integrated Care describes it as an ongoing process of planning for your future health and personal care, shared with your loved ones and healthcare team.
Some points from AIC’s guidance:
- You can appoint up to two Nominated Healthcare Spokespersons to speak for you.
- A registered ACP can be seen by healthcare teams through the national health record system, which a letter in a drawer cannot.
- Generally healthy people aged 21 and above with Singpass can complete one online through myACP. Those with a serious illness are guided to an ACP facilitator, and some providers may charge a nominal fee.
- ACP itself is not legally binding. It guides decisions. The Advance Medical Directive and the Lasting Power of Attorney are the legal documents.
For who can act for you if you lose mental capacity, see our article on the LPA and the deputyship route.
Keeping It Consistent With Your Will
A letter should support your legal documents, not compete with them.
- Do not contradict your will. If the letter says one thing and the will another, the will governs the estate, and the letter becomes a source of hurt.
- Do not use it to make changes. If your wishes have changed, update the will itself. MoneySense notes a will can be altered at any time.
- Avoid language that sounds like instructions on assets. Write “I hope” and “I would like”, and put anything that must happen into the will.
- If your estate is complex, ask. Where there is a trust, a business or a family disagreement, a lawyer can advise on how a letter of wishes should be worded.
Where to keep it
- Keep it with a copy of your will, or with your other important documents.
- Tell your executor or a trusted family member that it exists and where it is.
- Date it. If you rewrite it, destroy the old version so there is only one.
- Read it again every few years, and after major family events.
The Government’s MyLegacy@LifeSG portal has official guidance on end-of-life planning, and MUIS notes it can sync your CPF nomination, LPA and ACP details in one place.
What To Do Next
- Start with the practical part. One page listing where things are and who to call is already useful.
- Add a paragraph explaining any decision your children might not expect.
- Write the personal part when you are ready. It does not have to be long.
- Check that you have the legal documents the letter refers to: a will, a CPF nomination and an LPA. Our legacy readiness checklist shows what is missing.
- If you would rather say some of it in person, see how to start the family money-and-death talk.
- Look at AIC’s ACP pages if you have wishes about your care.
